You’ve heard this before: To be a better version of yourself, you need to be able to identify what’s holding you back. Truth be told, that’s easier said than done. We all haven’t been able to change negative habits or behaviours despite wanting to, as they’re embedded in our lives and personalities. Thankfully, this doesn’t mean they’re impossible to change. This only means that it takes more than just willpower and motivation to make them happen.
The next time you’re about to do one of these things, you might find it helpful to keep these points in mind.
Letting Fear Decide
Fear is a very normal response to ambiguity and uncertainty. When we are uncertain, it’s natural to be afraid of failure or rejection.
When fear takes over, it makes you miss out on important opportunities in life. You get so fixated on the ramifications of negative outcomes that you are unable to act.
The key to surmounting challenges is to take steps, no matter how small they may seem. Consistent action drives the most effective and long-lasting success.
Resisting Change
Change is never easy, but it’s often necessary.
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable doing something new, you know how it feels to stretch yourself and push past your comfort zone.
Yes, it’s not always easy. But you start seeing the fun in it once you stay put and adjust to accommodate the discomfort. When you treat change from a place of curiosity and surrender, it gives back so much. Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zones is the best gift you can give yourself.
Not asking for help
It’s important also not to let fear prevent you from asking for help when needed. Do note that asking for help doesn’t mean admitting defeat or admitting that someone else is better than you. It means being open and honest with yourself about what needs improvement so that you can grow and improve in all areas of life.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what YOU want either. It’s okay if someone says no. Just keep going until someone says yes.
Not making mistakes
We need to take risks and learn from them along the way to grow to our full potential as humans. This means that sometimes things won’t go our way or we will mess up, but this is okay.
Mistakes are a key aspect of the learning process; they give us insight into how to do things better.
You can stop settling for less and start reaching your full potential by accepting mistakes as inevitable in the pursuit of excellence.
Not knowing how to express yourself emotionally.
“What is suppressed comes back with a vengeance”, is a saying quoted often in terms of emotional health. As adults, we must be able to express our feelings and emotions in a healthy way so that we don’t feel stuck or out of control. It’s not enough just to have emotions; we have to be able to communicate them effectively.
This is where most people struggle because they don’t know how to express themselves emotionally without succumbing to bouts of anger, frustration, or sadness.
You should never be ashamed of your feelings or emotions — they’re there for a reason — but they’ll always come out in destructive ways if you can’t find ways to express them constructively. Sharing your problems with someone—a therapist or a coach, for example—and getting their feedback can help you make sense of what’s going on. Our group coaching sessions will help you find support and safe space so you can easily express your emotions.
Maybe some underlying issues need addressing before things get better.
Trying to change others
You think trying to change others is the answer to your problems.
While this may seem like a good idea, it’s more of a Band-Aid on an open wound. You can’t change someone else unless they want to change themselves first—and even then, there’s no guarantee that it’ll stick. You have no power over another person’s life or choices.
To prevent another person’s behaviour or personality traits from bothering you, reframe your perception and response to it. That’s all you can do, and that’s all you need to do.
The silver lining…
Failure is a sign that you are trying, and that’s what matters
You can’t expect to grow if you don’t try new things. You’ve got to be willing to take risks, which means sometimes failing along the way. Don’t let fear hold you back from trying something new because there is always a chance that it may not work out. If this happens, use your failure as an opportunity to learn something new and improve your strategies for next time.
The good news is that you do not need a manual to help guide you through life. This is because the decision to improve yourself is yours. All it takes is an open mind, the willingness to learn and grow as an individual, and a passion for self-improvement.
Working with a coach can help you reflect on your questions and help you be a better version of yourself. If you are reading this, don’t think twice before getting on your free welcome call 1:1 online coaching session with Maggie!
